Finally... Wheaties for K.G.!

Being from Orange County, it's no surprise that I was rooting for the Lakers in this year's NBA playoffs. The playoffs had, to some extent, taken over my life. All I could think about at work was the impending game, and the anticipation grew greater and greater with each round of the playoffs. The series against Denver was surprisingly entertaining, but failed to create the level of excitement that came when they faced off against the Jazz. A week later, it was the Spurs, and the Lakers pulled off a couple of the most amazing NBA playoff comebacks in recent history. It all lead up to what most people were hoping would happen - a classic battle in the finals versus the Boston Celtics. Who could ask for more?

As it turns out, it was a win/win situation for me. Of course I wanted the Lakers to win. They have always been my favorite team, whether they've got Kareem, Shaq, Kobe... even that bearded Slovakian Vlade (I pronounce it like Blade). They had a great season, and a great playoffs... until the finals, that is. Thankfully, I'm also a fan of Boston. Therefore, I'll always have enemies. In all honesty though, if I hadn't been a fan of Boston, I would have been after game 6. They owned the game from the second quarter, and where they went from there, well... you know the story. Let's just say that when you're 3rd string is doing reverse alley-oops on the Lakers starting lineup, your future is looking bright.

Anyways... to my point. By the time the finals were actually over, I was not only apathetic to the Lakers, but I actually found myself genuinely happy for Boston. Sue me, but how can you not be happy for Kevin Garnett? I have never seen anyone so humbled by the win. My favorite moment of the night was when he gave Bill Russell a never-ending hug and said to him "I got my own ring now... I hope we made you proud". Moments like these are what sports are all about to me. Only my opinion, but there's a guy who has earned his ring. I also have to give credit to Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and little Rondo. They played some ridiculous basketball, especially in game 6, and as a result, I can't help but feel like they deserved to win. It helped that it was such an ass kicking as well, because I already gave up on the Lakers in the middle of the third. To all you Laker fans out there who hate me now (even though no one is reading this), you know you did too. By the time the game was over, I had already experienced so many feelings of anger, sadness, and betrayal by my home team that the only thing left to do was be happy for the team that truly deserved to win. So congrats to you, K.G, and the rest of your team for making it to the "top of the world". You deserved it this time. You got your ring, and now I can go back to rooting against you without feeling so guilty.

Unnecessary necessities!

"Whoa man, you haven't ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?"

"You've never heard Dark Side of the Moon? That's insane!! You shouldn't even be alive!"

Certainly we've all been called to task once or twice for our ignorance of some seemingly important piece of pop culture history. You felt scared, alone, and of course, cold. Perhaps you grew up in a cardboard box deep underground, or perhaps you just never had the benefit of having a friend with nothing better to do than look for the best of the best in the realm of media, music, and fashion... and then force it all down your throat. I'm here to tell you it's alright. I will be that guy for all of you, except without the forcefulness, or really any sort of highly informed background. And to be honest, I can't really help with the fashion either. I'll leave that to someone else, whilst I remain in a pair of beige shorts and a T-shirt made in 1995. Everyone should own a pair of beige shorts. They are simply amazing.

Back to my point though - if you've never heard the choral sounds of Sigur Ros, or you haven't seen the styling genius of Billy Mitchell - read on. If you're unaware of what Honey Nut Cheerios mean to Omar Little, or you've never Karl Pilkington talk about Dinosaurs - read on. And for heaven's sake, if you've never seen Chest Rockwell blend a margarita - read on. I will make sure that you're given a proper road map to follow if you want to be watching the best film and television, listening to the best music, reading the best publishings, and shopping at the best places (offline and on).

In my own perfect world, I'll be doing this somewhat regularly... picking my favorites within the realm of film , television, music, the web, games, clothing, shopping destinations, etc... and then putting them up on the pedestal where I hold everything dear. If you choose not to follow my advice, you will probably survive, at least for a while. Eventually though, the emptiness will eat you from the inside out, and you'll probably end of alone, scared, and of course, cold. It's probably better to play it safe and take my advice now, before you risk infecting yourself with permanent stupidity by watching another episode of "Small Wonder". Do you know what is worse than staring straight into the sun? Staring straight into Harriett. All you fans of Vikki the robot - you know what I'm talking about.

Well, I suppose I can't have a section devoted to recommendations without actually having something to recommend. This time - I'll throw out a few "no-brainer" movie recommendations. Hopefully, you've seen all these, or at least heard of them. In the future, I'll try to bring a little bit of everything to the table - some you've all heard of, and some you might not have. So without further ado, here is my first list of unnecessary necessities:

Movies everyone should see before they die (Part I)

• Amelie (adorable French girl goes on a kindness rampage...)
• Die Hard (guy from Hudson Hawk gets glass in his feet while running up and down in a building)
• The Shawshank Redemption (innocent guy gets man-raped in prison, then escapes to go live with the Moor from Robin Hood)
• Seven (decaying man rises from his bed, and scares the crap out of Brad Pitt and me)
• A Fish Called Wanda (diamond robbery goes foul, and ketchup sniffing ensues)
• This is Spinal Tap (this one goes to 11... need I say more?)
• Dead Poets Society (teacher teaches English, gets fired, then leaves. Somewhere towards the end, I lose my shit and get goosebumps time)
  

These are a few of my all-time favorites. I'm not going to bother with deep descriptions on these - chances are you've already heard of them, and probably even seen them. If there's one you missed however , do yourself a favor and catch up. There's something in this batch to make anyone smile, laugh, cry, or possibly shart. Well, hopefully not the latter. Happy viewing!

Rob Fukuzaki and the beginning of existence...

Okay, I guess this marks the beginning. After 33 years of unending verbal rants and poignant, yet diarrhetic disquisitions ranging from "I just pooped in my pants" (circa 1978), to " I think I drank too much... and I might have just pooped my pants (circa 2008), it's time for me to bring my thoughts to the masses... via the magical entity that is the blog. Finally, a place where I can say what I want, and get my thoughts out, without actually having to look around to see just how many people aren't listening!! It's going to be amazing!!! Listening to me can now be an act of choice... so congratulations to all the people who aren't reading this as we speak.. you're already ahead of the game!

I'm not sure who will listen, but the fact remains - I've got a thing or two to say about the real issues going on in our lives... like the problem of coaster rings... and really, really loud power blowers. Seriously. I mean, we've figured out ways of making automatic machine guns silent, but we can't figure out a way of blowing leaves off the sidewalk without creating a Sonic Boom? And who drinks 128 oz Sodas these days? What's the story with those tight Emo skate pants? Who authorized that? "Two and a Half Men" is the highest rated sitcom on TV... but I don't know anyone that watches it? How does that work? And does anyone else think that Rob Fukuzaki should rule the known universe?

In time, I hope to address all these issues, and hopefully a few more. From the first African-American presidential hopeful to the world's best green waffles, there's a place here for everything. I invite you to join me as I attempt to make a little more sense of all the nonsense. It should only take minute.